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In a summer of celebration and joy, it can be a challenge to shift tone and establish a more somber mood. Programmatically and educationally, the camp experience is more closely aligned with concerts and water parks than it is with elegies and ashes. So how do the 9 Days and Tisha B’Av fit into the NCSY Kollel experience?
A few weeks ago there was a conversation between a Madricha on a different NCSY program and her program director. The director asked how the program was going and how the advisor was acclimating to her role. She responded that she understood the need for exaggerated positivity and she appreciated that a staff member must be a cheerleader and supporter- of the program and also of the NCSYers themselves. But she lamented that the NCSYers were receiving a distorted picture of life and their role models. She conceded that she struggled with a form of imposter syndrome and that she often felt frustrated by presenting only the good and never acknowledging the less good. Sometimes advisors are sad, sometimes they are less motivated, sometimes they have bad days. Shouldn’t those struggles be part of what they teach and represent?
On last year’s Kollel program, we enjoyed a particularly meaningful siyum during the 9 days. The ensuing celebration was filled with a most beautiful display of joy and optimism. Rav Twersky was off to the side, unwilling or unable to fully forego the somber notes of the days leading up to Tisha B’Av. He was asked, which tone was most ideal? Which expression most authentic? After all, this was a legitimate celebration! Wasn’t this the best way to respond to destruction and loss? High School boys, loving a summer in the land of Israel, enthusiastically rallying around the crown of Torah! What’s the downside?
Rav Twersky accepted the validity of the question, but simply posed one of his own in reply: “And who will teach them how to mourn?” If we erase all vestiges of loss from our lives, how will we know how to cry? How will we confront disappointment and sorrow?
Rabbi Natanel Lebowitz serves as our Program Director. Among his countless responsibilities, he and his staff coordinate all of our travel, trips, and mini tiyulim. And if you ever ask him how a day or outing is going, he will invariably sigh and say, “Well, there’s still no Beis HaMikdash…”. Far from a gimmick or façade, this reaction leaves an indelible educational footprint. Things can be unimaginably great and uplifting. But they remain imperfect.
So this week’s update will be a little different. Today’s recap will not be set to snappy background music or feature endless beaming and unblemished faces. This message will describe things that are imperfect.
Sure, the past few days did not lack for awesome highlights. The entire program in Chevron? Unforgettable. A one-of-a-kind Mishmar program centered around 30 minutes of uninterrupted torah study? Simply wow. Basketball two-a-days and can’t miss daily mini tiyulim? Why not? The extraordinary teachings of Rav Aryeh Lebowitz and Rav Yonason Sacks? Where else but here? We could fill the page with short descriptions of these events and more. But it would not represent the fullness of our time together and it would not capture some of the most important work we do.
Because this week also had flaws.
This week we had some ups and downs with minyan attendance.
This week some of the NCSYers struggled with self-control and use of profanity.
This week many were frustrated by halachic restrictions and failed to achieve meaningful connections to the loss of the Temples.
This week, at times, we were tired and grumpy. This week we were not always at our best.
This week we lent a hand to another, but not often enough.
This week some tiyul busses came late, and some tiyul busses were missed.
This week our mental health professionals and trained staff spent a good deal of time trying to help many NCSYers find their way.
This week we said goodbye to many contributors to the NCSY Kollel experience and felt the void of their departure.
This week we needed to continue a group discussion on sportsmanship and our own standards.
This week we found learning Gemara and the NCSY Kollel schedule to be a challenge.
And this week, like every week, we offered understanding, a listening ear, an open heart, and empathy for all these shortcomings. We acknowledged the problems and collaborated on solutions. We tried to be a bit better.
We can share one moment from the week that was particularly poignant. It was before mincha on a regular day. Various schedules aligned and on the same campus Rav Lebowitz, Rav Sacks, and Rav Sobolofsky all stood together in the front. Luminaries all, they represented all that is good and attractive in genuine Torah leadership. And yet, there was one individual in the beis medrash who commanded even more attention, and who silently influenced so many NCSYers in an even more heartfelt way. Rabbi Lavi Greenspan sits in the back of each Beis Medrash, most every day. He shares his story of over 25 years of blindness, and the faith and determination that fuel perseverance. He shares the warmest of smiles and embraces, and he breaks tension with a wonderful sense of humor and well-timed jokes. But he does not shy away from describing frustration and failure, and the most wrenching pain. Five good minutes with Lavi can provide more relief to any of the difficulties listed above than hours of lectures and talks.
We are often asked how we manage to run a great and exhilarating summer program in the months of sadness and despair. 3 weeks without music? Fast days? Sitting on the floor and finding reasons to cry? Where does any of this fit in the summer camp playbook?
Of course, we yearn for the days that all summer days are holidays for rebuilt Jerusalem and utopian lives. But we will get there only when we confront our weakness and mistakes. We wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have it any other way.
Please join us throughout this momentous weekend, first in spirit, then through technology on Sunday at the NCSY Kollel Kumsitz of the World.
Wishing you the comfort of Shabbos and the promise of brighter tomorrows
With commitment,
Moshe Benovitz
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